Look Within: How Becoming Your Biggest Critic Can Save Your Family

Becoming your biggest critic is hard, but when you take the time to look down deep inside and openly and honestly express your emotions, you’ll better yourself and thus, better your family.

Dale initiating the “a better me for a better we” concept certainly saved our family. I don’t know how we as a family or couple would’ve made it with communicating our thoughts and feelings honestly with each other and looking at the “big picture.”

I get it; it’s hard to hear — and deliver — criticism to the ones you love. But deep down inside, we all know what we need to do to make ourselves better, and it is helpful to hear it from someone else.

Once you hash everything out and put it all out on the table, it makes it easier to move forward and do what you need to do to spark change in your family.

But again, it starts with you.

Becoming Your Biggest Critic

I know that making a drastic life change is not easy because it’s not just you that you’re changing. When you look within and take steps to better yourself, the ripple effect reaches your children, pets, house, job, and every other part of day-to-day life.

When Dale and I first shared our self-evaluations with each other and honestly told each other how we were really feeling … I’m not going to lie, I was a little bit angry at his initial critique. I was frustrated and felt like more was being put on my shoulders. But I chose not to react because I knew Dale was trying to make things better.

And I’m glad I did! Over the next couple of months, we continued our talks, but gradually the tone changed. It became less about pointing out each other’s faults and more about sharing our fears and concerns.

We asked ourselves what we could do better to lead our family, and it was from that point that we began to make changes that would have a profound and lasting impact. The realization of “a better me for a better we” was what we needed. As we communicated and became aligned as parents, we realized that together we were stronger for each other and for our family.


Start your path towards “a better me for a better we” by downloading these Discussion Guides. They’ll help you remember that becoming your biggest critic is about purpose, not perfection.

Author: Monica Vernon
Monica, a middle school teacher, wife, and professed imperfect mother of three children, is co-author of How Imperfect Parents Lead Great Families. She juggles the daily life of working full time and managing the household while supporting a hard working husband.
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