A Better Me For a Better We

The only way your family succeeds is when you change first. The question you have to ask yourself is, “Am I willing to be a better me for a better we?”

Parenting is not what I had imagined. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my children, but why is it that everything takes 10 times the energy it is supposed to — or at least 10 times what I think it should?

And what happened between my wife and me? The passionate flame that Monica and I share was often just a flicker, and the majority of our conversations revolved around the kids and what was wrong at home.

I use the term “conversations” loosely. I wasn’t collaborating with Monica, I was dictating to her. I figured that since she was the main caregiver and a stay-at-home mom, whatever wasn’t working from home was her responsibility and was probably a consequence of what she wasn’t doing right.

I buried myself in work — I had some semblance of control there — and I parented the way I ran my business. I was a manager expecting results. I wanted my family to take responsibility and do their jobs, because I was doing what I thought was my only job: providing.

We were imperfect parents running an imperfect family and we were leading it into the ground. And I was at the helm.

My family didn’t need to change. I did.

A Better Me For a Better We

I realized that a willingness to look deep inside yourself is the key to having a successful marriage and a successful family.

It’s not easy, but you have to ask yourself the difficult questions. Am I the person I want to be? Am I the parent/spouse/partner I want to be? Am I the example that I want to be setting for my children and family? What am I willing to do and how far am I willing to go for the betterment of my family? What is it that I really want for my family?

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Ready to become your biggest critic and start on your path to achieving purpose, not perfection? Download these Discussion Guides, handy lists you can print out and reflect on — alone or with your family.

Author: Dale W. Vernon
Dale, a business and investment advisor and professed imperfect father of three children, is co-author of How Imperfect Parents Lead Great Families. He is a frequent speaker about the importance of establishing family values, creating a culture of communication in your home and being an intentional parent that understands the importance of being the best example you can for your children.
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